Well, for six weeks now, I’ve been clean as I can be
Haven’t popped any pills, stayed off the ecstasy
Haven’t snorted any lines, or puffed on any weed
No heroin, no opium, not a single poppy seed

But my test turned out false positive – (false positive)
Musta switched my sample with the one I saw George Dubya give
Now my new job is tentative, how’m I gonna live, with this false positive

Drank a gallon of dill pickle juice, every single day
Cut my hair real short, and dyed it charcoal grey
Sent away to a place for urine, guaranteed clean
So they can test all they want, but they won’t know where I’ve been

But the test still turned out positive – (still positive)
Musta switched my sample with the one I saw Dwight Gooden give
Now my new career is tentative, how’m I gonna live, with this false positive

Every time I turn around they want a cup of pee to test
A lock of hair, some DNA, a lie detector test
I try my best to given them something clean that they can use
But I always seem to end up with these false positive blues

Well I’m gonna get married, yeah I’m such a lucky guy
So I rounded up all the penicillin I could buy
Had my cousin take the blood test, instead of me
So I could start my new life off with some integrity

But the test turned out false positive – (false positive)
Musta switched my sample with the one I saw Bill Clinton give
Now my honeymoon is tentative, how’m I gonna live, with this false positive

But my test turned out false positive – (false positive)
Musta switched my sample
Now my whole life is tentative, how’m I gonna live, with this false positive