Friday night, New York City, not much going on
The rock fans head down to Kenny's in the Village
Hear the bands play their songs
But Sunday night's when the kids line up
To see the act that's all the rage
They come from miles around
To watch The Professors nail a chicken to the stage

The music's great, all the people at Kenny's
Rock to the rhythm and blues
But the Sunday night set's just a little bit different
If you haven't heard the news
It's standing room only and an educated crowd
Is lined up out the door
To see a Rhode Island Red meet a ten-penny nail
Down on Kenny's floor

Hit it!

Across the street there's a picket line of people
Who hate to see animals harmed
But inside The Professors' special appearance
Is sponsored by Holly Farms
It's performance art, the American way
Despite the animal lobbyists' yammer
When a chicken has its fifteen minutes of fame
With a nail and a ball peen hammer

Hammer time!